Post by Jules on Apr 25, 2008 20:21:41 GMT -5
Interesting article from AfterElton.com. DHP is mentioned as one of those doing the 'inching'. See what you think of the point they make...
by Christie Keith, Contributing Writer
[/b][/center]
It's a relatively new phenomenon, the non-coming out come-out. Gay public figures attend events with same-sex partners, or get spotted shopping with them at Ikea. They never claim to be straight or go on arranged photo-op dates with opposite-sex celebrities, and the stars as well as their fans may even sincerely consider them to be out, or at least…not in.
Take actor Neil Patrick Harris, who publicly came out a year and a half ago in the pages of People magazine. Many gay fans considered him to be "out" even before he acknowledged it to the press, treating reports he'd been seen in public with his male partner as a tacit coming out announcement.
Before Harris told People that he was "proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest," Towleroad.com blogged that Harris' publicist had issued a statement denying he was "of that persuasion." Reaction among readers was amused surprise. "Has his publicist met Neil Patrick Harris?" wrote one.
"Yo, Doogie, you're not fooling anyone! Especially considering every queer in New York has seen you out and about," commented another.
Other comments echoed the sentiment. "I thought NPH being gay was a completely ’open secret‘ at this point," said one. And another: "I was at a party with him, and he openly admitted to me that he was gay! He's in a long-term committed relationship."
Harris was yet another public figure who was "out in the community, but not in the press." In other words, gay fans knew, along with varying numbers of other people, but it hadn't been reported in the media, and mainstream America was perfectly free to ignore it if they wished. In fact, most of mainstream America isn't ignoring the existence of queer celebrities; thanks to close-mouthed celebrities and a complicit media, they really don't know.
That system works because these days many of the queer and famous don't come out – they inch out. And it's not hard to figure out why. They get to socialize in the gay community, be out to their immediate friends and family, and live with their same-sex partners without having to go through the media circus of an official come-out. But here's a question: What's in it for us?
Other than any thrill it might give us to get the joke when Anderson Cooper laughs that fellow CNN anchor Erica Hill's husband doesn't have anything to worry about from him, or when Jodie Foster thanks her "beautiful Cydney" at a Hollywood event, not much. That's because it's not inside jokes and white-lipped references to privacy that advance GLBT equality and civil rights; it's visibility.
And that doesn't mean visibility to each other, but mainstream visibility. There is nothing more strongly correlated with increased support of gay rights among straight people, from marriage to adoption to opposing a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, than one simple thing: knowing someone who is gay.
The bottom line is that coming out as gay – actually saying the words clearly, and for the record – is the single most powerful tool we have to achieve equality. "Inching out" might make gay celebrities' lives easier, and they have every right to do it if they want to. But as a community, we also have the right to examine the impact of that choice on us.
And it does have one. It perpetuates the one thing that has done more harm to gay rights than any other institution: the closet. Because even if a public figure is "out in the community," until they're also "out in the press" – until their coming out statement is on the pages of People magazine – mainstream America will continue on, blissfully unaware that their favorite actor, a powerful politician, or a respected business leader is queer.
This positive impact on gay social equality is exactly the reason given by two stars, one at the beginning of his career, the other arguably the most famous gay actor in the world, for making the decision to choose visibility.
Faced with questions about his own sexual orientation after he took the role of gay teen Marco Del Rossi on Degrassi: The Next Generation, actor Adamo Ruggiero started with a classic inch-out non-answer: “Let the gay kids think I'm gay and let the straight girls think I'm straight.” And it worked, too; in response to a recent article about Ruggiero's coming out, one of those "gay kids" commented, "Wow, was he ever in the closet in the first place?"
But Ruggiero, who is only 21, spoke openly about being gay last month in an interview with eTalk. What made him come all the way out at an age when most of today's closeted A-list actors hadn't even started inching out?
"Ultimately I just thought maybe the reason why that these kind of fears are perpetuated of ‘I can’t come out, what’s going to happen to my career?’ is because things really haven’t changed," he said. "I feel like the more we hide, the more we perpetuate it."
Ruggiero's sentiments echo those of someone quite a bit further along in an illustrious acting career, Sir Ian McKellen. In an exclusive interview with AfterElton.com, he described his own "inching out" process. "From puberty onwards I never hid my sexuality from anybody except for the press," he said. "Some close members of my family. My friends and employers and employees — they all knew, and I never felt it to be a disadvantage. I didn't think it was relevant."
But something a friend said changed his point of view. "It was only when Armistead Maupin pointed out that none of us are an island, and that coming out is a wonderful release for the individual," he said. "But it also has a release beyond that on one's friends and acquaintances and eventually society as a whole. That's how the movement goes forward."
And that's the catch. What obligation do actors, musicians, and news anchors have to "make the movement go forward"? Many gay people, fans and celebrities alike, would argue that none of them has any responsibility to members of the public, gay or not, to do anything other than produce good films, music, and news shows. The decisions celebrities make about what questions to answer, how much to say about their sexual orientation, are no one's business but their own.
The issue is, though, as Ruggiero and McKellen pointed out, that this debate isn't just about personal responsibility; it's also about impact, not on the individual celebrities, but on all of us. Particularly for celebrities who are widely believed to be gay, but don't acknowledge it, an insistence on keeping their "private life private" can look an awful lot like secrecy and shame.
When they deflect all questions about sexual orientation – or act outraged at being asked at all – it reinforces a perception of homosexuality as something dirty.
So why are some gay fans throwing rose petals at the feet of celebrities who have chosen to inch out instead of come out?
As happened with Neil Patrick Harris, many fans seem content to be "in the know," and even believe that not denying that you're gay is pretty much the same thing as stating that you are. As long as public figures don't actively deny that they're gay, support GLBT causes, and sometimes even socialize in the gay world, many of their gay fans are perfectly content.
Take the queen of the long, slow inch-out, Jodie Foster, whose queer fans are as protective of her privacy as any image-obsessed publicist could wish.
When AfterEllen.com reported that Foster had publicly acknowledged her female partner at a charity event, most readers were thrilled and supportive. They made comments such as, "Jodie's been out for years - she just hasn't been out to the press. She brings Cydney to private (press-free) events [and] doesn't hide their relationship. Everyone who knows her knows they're together."
"I love the way Jodie Foster handles her private life," another fan enthused. "She is out and proud in my book, or has she ever claimed to be not gay/bi or not to be in a relationship with Cydney? Of course it would be nice to hear her say the words, but then again no heterosexual stands there and declares to be straight, they usually just quietly integrate their partner into their lives. That is what Jodie does, with style, grace and dignity."
Just like their fans, some gay stars consider themselves "out" as long as they were never really "in," even if they've never formally come out. For example, in an interview with AfterElton.com, actor Chad Allen said that he didn't consider himself to have ever been in the closet, even though he didn't acknowledge his sexual orientation publicly until after a man he was dating sold photos of the two of them to the tabloids in 1996. But he never went on fake dates with women or lied that he was straight.
"There was a time when it was actually said to me, 'You know, we can get you a girlfriend. We can make that happen,'" he said. "But that's not in me. I can't live a lie."
Or as David Hyde Pierce, who started publicly referring to his partner, Brian Hargrove, only last year, once joked in an interview, "My life is an open book, but I’m not going to read it to you."
But not all gay fans are content with seeing their idols inch out. "I think it would be great for Jodie Foster to officially come out, as so many people DO admire her," said one reader wistfully. "She is a great example of one who could be a positive GLBT role model and we need more of those. Every time I hear somebody say, 'What does it matter if he's/she's gay?' it frustrates me because it does matter. GLBT teens are a major at risk population and need positive role models."
And that's the argument. It's not that famous queers owe the community anything. It's simply recognizing the reality that what they do – and don't – say affects the community, whether they want it to or not.
Celebrities live big, on the magazine and tabloid covers in the supermarkets, on the nightly news, on entertainment shows, in gossip columns, and all over the Internet. When successful, powerful people answer questions about their sexual orientation without playing games, it shows that they're not ashamed of being gay or lesbian. It sends a message to queer youth that they, too, can have a good life and contribute positively to the world.
It also challenges stereotypes and affirms that queer people are, indeed, everywhere and everything that straight people are. It breaks down barriers, raises hopes, and increases support for GLBT civil rights and equality. Nothing makes a more positive change in people's attitudes towards gay civil rights than visibility.
And that's why inching out, however good it might be for an individual, isn't a good thing for the GLBT community. As out lesbian tennis legend Martina Navratilova told OutSports.com, "Just by being honest and out about who you are, to me, is enough, you don’t have to do one (more) thing, for the rest of your life, when you are that famous, because that’s your contribution right there."
In short, coming out beats the hell out of inching out. Like most valuable and important things, that contribution isn't always an easy one.
Mentioning the difficulties of navigating the public coming out process, Sir Ian said, "It's very hard and I don't think we should expect people to do anything other than what they can do." Still, he concluded, "We've all got a part to play and it would be quite enough, as far as I'm concerned … to say 'Yes, I'm gay,' and leave it at that."
Far from demanding gay celebrities do more for our community, how about expecting them to do only one thing: Don't inch out; come out. Because that is, in the end, the single most powerful thing anyone can do to support equality.
Inching out of the closet
by Christie Keith, Contributing Writer
[/b][/center]
It's a relatively new phenomenon, the non-coming out come-out. Gay public figures attend events with same-sex partners, or get spotted shopping with them at Ikea. They never claim to be straight or go on arranged photo-op dates with opposite-sex celebrities, and the stars as well as their fans may even sincerely consider them to be out, or at least…not in.
Take actor Neil Patrick Harris, who publicly came out a year and a half ago in the pages of People magazine. Many gay fans considered him to be "out" even before he acknowledged it to the press, treating reports he'd been seen in public with his male partner as a tacit coming out announcement.
Before Harris told People that he was "proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest," Towleroad.com blogged that Harris' publicist had issued a statement denying he was "of that persuasion." Reaction among readers was amused surprise. "Has his publicist met Neil Patrick Harris?" wrote one.
"Yo, Doogie, you're not fooling anyone! Especially considering every queer in New York has seen you out and about," commented another.
Other comments echoed the sentiment. "I thought NPH being gay was a completely ’open secret‘ at this point," said one. And another: "I was at a party with him, and he openly admitted to me that he was gay! He's in a long-term committed relationship."
Harris was yet another public figure who was "out in the community, but not in the press." In other words, gay fans knew, along with varying numbers of other people, but it hadn't been reported in the media, and mainstream America was perfectly free to ignore it if they wished. In fact, most of mainstream America isn't ignoring the existence of queer celebrities; thanks to close-mouthed celebrities and a complicit media, they really don't know.
That system works because these days many of the queer and famous don't come out – they inch out. And it's not hard to figure out why. They get to socialize in the gay community, be out to their immediate friends and family, and live with their same-sex partners without having to go through the media circus of an official come-out. But here's a question: What's in it for us?
Other than any thrill it might give us to get the joke when Anderson Cooper laughs that fellow CNN anchor Erica Hill's husband doesn't have anything to worry about from him, or when Jodie Foster thanks her "beautiful Cydney" at a Hollywood event, not much. That's because it's not inside jokes and white-lipped references to privacy that advance GLBT equality and civil rights; it's visibility.
And that doesn't mean visibility to each other, but mainstream visibility. There is nothing more strongly correlated with increased support of gay rights among straight people, from marriage to adoption to opposing a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, than one simple thing: knowing someone who is gay.
The bottom line is that coming out as gay – actually saying the words clearly, and for the record – is the single most powerful tool we have to achieve equality. "Inching out" might make gay celebrities' lives easier, and they have every right to do it if they want to. But as a community, we also have the right to examine the impact of that choice on us.
And it does have one. It perpetuates the one thing that has done more harm to gay rights than any other institution: the closet. Because even if a public figure is "out in the community," until they're also "out in the press" – until their coming out statement is on the pages of People magazine – mainstream America will continue on, blissfully unaware that their favorite actor, a powerful politician, or a respected business leader is queer.
This positive impact on gay social equality is exactly the reason given by two stars, one at the beginning of his career, the other arguably the most famous gay actor in the world, for making the decision to choose visibility.
Faced with questions about his own sexual orientation after he took the role of gay teen Marco Del Rossi on Degrassi: The Next Generation, actor Adamo Ruggiero started with a classic inch-out non-answer: “Let the gay kids think I'm gay and let the straight girls think I'm straight.” And it worked, too; in response to a recent article about Ruggiero's coming out, one of those "gay kids" commented, "Wow, was he ever in the closet in the first place?"
But Ruggiero, who is only 21, spoke openly about being gay last month in an interview with eTalk. What made him come all the way out at an age when most of today's closeted A-list actors hadn't even started inching out?
"Ultimately I just thought maybe the reason why that these kind of fears are perpetuated of ‘I can’t come out, what’s going to happen to my career?’ is because things really haven’t changed," he said. "I feel like the more we hide, the more we perpetuate it."
Ruggiero's sentiments echo those of someone quite a bit further along in an illustrious acting career, Sir Ian McKellen. In an exclusive interview with AfterElton.com, he described his own "inching out" process. "From puberty onwards I never hid my sexuality from anybody except for the press," he said. "Some close members of my family. My friends and employers and employees — they all knew, and I never felt it to be a disadvantage. I didn't think it was relevant."
But something a friend said changed his point of view. "It was only when Armistead Maupin pointed out that none of us are an island, and that coming out is a wonderful release for the individual," he said. "But it also has a release beyond that on one's friends and acquaintances and eventually society as a whole. That's how the movement goes forward."
And that's the catch. What obligation do actors, musicians, and news anchors have to "make the movement go forward"? Many gay people, fans and celebrities alike, would argue that none of them has any responsibility to members of the public, gay or not, to do anything other than produce good films, music, and news shows. The decisions celebrities make about what questions to answer, how much to say about their sexual orientation, are no one's business but their own.
The issue is, though, as Ruggiero and McKellen pointed out, that this debate isn't just about personal responsibility; it's also about impact, not on the individual celebrities, but on all of us. Particularly for celebrities who are widely believed to be gay, but don't acknowledge it, an insistence on keeping their "private life private" can look an awful lot like secrecy and shame.
When they deflect all questions about sexual orientation – or act outraged at being asked at all – it reinforces a perception of homosexuality as something dirty.
So why are some gay fans throwing rose petals at the feet of celebrities who have chosen to inch out instead of come out?
As happened with Neil Patrick Harris, many fans seem content to be "in the know," and even believe that not denying that you're gay is pretty much the same thing as stating that you are. As long as public figures don't actively deny that they're gay, support GLBT causes, and sometimes even socialize in the gay world, many of their gay fans are perfectly content.
Take the queen of the long, slow inch-out, Jodie Foster, whose queer fans are as protective of her privacy as any image-obsessed publicist could wish.
When AfterEllen.com reported that Foster had publicly acknowledged her female partner at a charity event, most readers were thrilled and supportive. They made comments such as, "Jodie's been out for years - she just hasn't been out to the press. She brings Cydney to private (press-free) events [and] doesn't hide their relationship. Everyone who knows her knows they're together."
"I love the way Jodie Foster handles her private life," another fan enthused. "She is out and proud in my book, or has she ever claimed to be not gay/bi or not to be in a relationship with Cydney? Of course it would be nice to hear her say the words, but then again no heterosexual stands there and declares to be straight, they usually just quietly integrate their partner into their lives. That is what Jodie does, with style, grace and dignity."
Just like their fans, some gay stars consider themselves "out" as long as they were never really "in," even if they've never formally come out. For example, in an interview with AfterElton.com, actor Chad Allen said that he didn't consider himself to have ever been in the closet, even though he didn't acknowledge his sexual orientation publicly until after a man he was dating sold photos of the two of them to the tabloids in 1996. But he never went on fake dates with women or lied that he was straight.
"There was a time when it was actually said to me, 'You know, we can get you a girlfriend. We can make that happen,'" he said. "But that's not in me. I can't live a lie."
Or as David Hyde Pierce, who started publicly referring to his partner, Brian Hargrove, only last year, once joked in an interview, "My life is an open book, but I’m not going to read it to you."
But not all gay fans are content with seeing their idols inch out. "I think it would be great for Jodie Foster to officially come out, as so many people DO admire her," said one reader wistfully. "She is a great example of one who could be a positive GLBT role model and we need more of those. Every time I hear somebody say, 'What does it matter if he's/she's gay?' it frustrates me because it does matter. GLBT teens are a major at risk population and need positive role models."
And that's the argument. It's not that famous queers owe the community anything. It's simply recognizing the reality that what they do – and don't – say affects the community, whether they want it to or not.
Celebrities live big, on the magazine and tabloid covers in the supermarkets, on the nightly news, on entertainment shows, in gossip columns, and all over the Internet. When successful, powerful people answer questions about their sexual orientation without playing games, it shows that they're not ashamed of being gay or lesbian. It sends a message to queer youth that they, too, can have a good life and contribute positively to the world.
It also challenges stereotypes and affirms that queer people are, indeed, everywhere and everything that straight people are. It breaks down barriers, raises hopes, and increases support for GLBT civil rights and equality. Nothing makes a more positive change in people's attitudes towards gay civil rights than visibility.
And that's why inching out, however good it might be for an individual, isn't a good thing for the GLBT community. As out lesbian tennis legend Martina Navratilova told OutSports.com, "Just by being honest and out about who you are, to me, is enough, you don’t have to do one (more) thing, for the rest of your life, when you are that famous, because that’s your contribution right there."
In short, coming out beats the hell out of inching out. Like most valuable and important things, that contribution isn't always an easy one.
Mentioning the difficulties of navigating the public coming out process, Sir Ian said, "It's very hard and I don't think we should expect people to do anything other than what they can do." Still, he concluded, "We've all got a part to play and it would be quite enough, as far as I'm concerned … to say 'Yes, I'm gay,' and leave it at that."
Far from demanding gay celebrities do more for our community, how about expecting them to do only one thing: Don't inch out; come out. Because that is, in the end, the single most powerful thing anyone can do to support equality.
